You have probably learned to
get information by asking questions. This is the most
common pattern in our present society. Yet asking a
question limits what the respondent can say. You may be
missing out on important information. If you let the
other person speak first, you will know what is of concern to
him or her. If you state an opinion, you will find out
whether your client or colleague agrees or not.
Questions have two
functions: one is to request information, the other is
to require a response. Very often others respond only to
the second aspect, the control aspect. In fact, if you
study your own habits you will find that most often it is the
control aspect of a question that is really behind what you
are saying.
When you are about to ask a
question, ask yourself what statement lies behind the
question. You may be surprised to find how often that
statement has to do with controlling others.
