A big problem we have in
listening to others is that they are not telling us what we
want to hear. We keep waiting for that.
In manyy cases others don't
tell us what we need to know because they don't have any idea
of what we are driving at with our questions. The
questions keep focusing their attention on the fact that we
are making them respond to us. The questions distracting
them from saying what we really need to hear.
You have to give good
information to get good information. If you want to hear a
better grade of information you need to be clearer about your
needs and expectations.
A university professor
always began a semester by asking students to write down their
names, their year in college, their majors and a few other
things. The response was always the same-students wrote
the absolute minimum they could get away with.
Then he adopted this pattern
of giving information in order to get information. He
started his next semester's class by telling his students
about himself. He also told them how it would be helpful
to him to know more about them in teaching the class.
Then he asked them to write down anything they thought would
be helpful to him in teaching them. That year he got
pages and pages of very detailed information about his
students.
