Miscommunication between two
people is self-perpetuating. When you misunderstand
someone you may also misunderstand their attempt to 'repair'
the situation. We are all familiar with the vicious
cycle that goes like this: 'What are you so mad
about?' 'I'm not mad'. 'Well, you sound
mad'. 'Well, not I'm getting mad. Will you leave
me alone?'
Among professionals and
business people there is a tendency to associate mostly with
others from the same group. This leads to stereotyping
your responses to people from outside your group. After
all, 'everyone' seems to agree about 'them'.
You need to work with an
intermediary to break out of one of these vicious
circles. In Japan, China, America, and even Europe until
quite recently anything as an important as marriage was
arranged through a go-between. Now we are finding that
one of the reasons Japanese management has worked so
soccussfully in the modern industrial setting is this ancient
ability to work through intermediaries.
