The following speech was put together by Katherine Sergie which is currently a Junior in Akula Elitnaurvik.
English Speech 1997
Just a few days before my closest friend, Justin, killed himself, he asked me how much I really loved and cared for him. He told me he didn't want to go on anymore. I believed this was just talk. -You know- temporary depression. When this became a reality, it really shook me. I couldn't get it over. I still can't. Justin was only sixteen when he committed suicide. He was good looking, average student, athlete, and had a lot of friends. He also came from an average family. Yet, he shot himself after he had an argument with his parents.
The American Association of Suicidology estimates that suicide claims about 35,000 lives each year in the United States alone; some of the authorities feel that the true figure might be closer to 100,000. The growing number of these lives are the young people in their teens or early twenties.
Although a teenager's suicide always comes as a great shock. However, the victim regularly drops many clues before committing suicide. The trouble is that the family members and friends often fail to observe these signs; this is a tragic oversight. Suicidal people sometimes communicate an indirect message about their purpose. Verbal clues might include statements like; " I might as well be dead," " you won't have to worry about me," or " you'll be sorry when I'm gone."
Another suicide signal is preparation for death, which a young person might give away treasured personal possessions. Such as: a favorite book, records, or other collections. A person who changes his mood or behavior for a long time are suspect. Shy people who become outgoing and adventurous for no apparent reason or friendly people who with draw and don't care about things and are considering to kill them selves.
Suicide is harder to concede and more painful for the victims family then other kinds of death. Relatives may feel betrayed, abandoned, angry and in search of someone or something to blame. Often they suffer stress, including chronic in ability to sleep, the annoying of something, nightmares, and over step thoughts about the suicide. They maybe unwilling to talk to anyone because of their fear of social weakness and wanting details to stay unclear.
Less obvious than parental suffering is the grief of sisters and brothers of a young suicide. Every child has wished at some times of anger or jealousy for the death of a younger or older sibling. When death leads back from suicide, the child feels frightened, confused, and some how responsible about the death.
Older siblings of a suicide often feel torn apart from younger siblings and would like to make a warm wish to make up parents for the hardship they have suffered. They all feel angry at their dead sibling and parents , yet they are helpless and despairing because they were unable to ease the pain that cussed each other.
If you are a survivor of suicide. Your relationship to the person who killed himself is a little consequence. Whether you have lost a loved one like a husband or wife, son or daughter, father or mother, brother or sister, aunt, uncle, or friend or you have cared or disliked the person. If there was an emotional relationship, or bonding, you have to deal with issues surrounding the suicide.
Your expanses in a club were paid for the suicide. If dealing with this death, you have the rights and responsibilities. You got the right to heal at your own peace, and free from feelings that are unequal.
Everyone has the right to know that you aren't alone. There are others in these clubs. Some of them choose to spend time together and support each other from committing suicide. There are survivors in support groups who have been where you were, or will be where you are soon. Frequently there are people who are exactly where you are in some of the terms in struggling with their feelings and life. This can be a great help. Talking to someone is healing in and your self.
You could seek out support groups and understand the people that you would like to talk to about suicide and feelings. Support groups are one of the places to find people who understand and are supportive.
You will need to deal with your own feelings of suicide. You may not have any at all, and that is good. However, if you feel suicide is an option to escape the horrible pain or to join your loved one, realize their will be people that will be left behind to deal with the same feelings you are now standing. Break the suicide cycle.
Finally you have the responsibility to love your self. You have to uphold a major wound. Your life may be in total confusion. You should understand that you will not heal over night; but someday you will be healing. It takes time. You will heal at your own pace; what ever it may be.
Perhaps you might sometimes feel like ending your life. Don't be afraid of it, many people -young and old- share feelings. Talk to someone you trust. If you like, you can call the supportive and talk to them about the way you feel. Things seem very bad sometimes, but those don't last forever. Ask for help. You can be helped because you deserve it.
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